Miscellaneous Musings About Manure by Jesse Turner

Black gold, excrement par excellence, castings from the worm gods? yea, I dress it up and call it anything but what it really is, since I'm using it in my garden and my lawn and to burn/rot out tree stumps. For a waste product it sure has a lot of uses.

My neighbor has two horses, he never rides them, breeds them or shows them, I asked him why he even has horses, he said, "They're here for poop production and they're good at it" then he points up the hill at six huge piles of compost and says, "They keep those going strong". Wow, they must be good at it, I tell him to take it easy and not to hurt himself and he tells me, "No chance, horse cr*p has been very good to me".

Now that I have manure on the brain it reminds me of the first time I seen the lagoon on the farm, my brother-in-law was showing me the calf barn when we crested a hill and I got full view/smell of a black/brown lake; the lagoon a small pond of liquid manure good for fertalizer and clearing your head if it's clogged or clogging it if it's clear. I asked if anything ever fell in there, he said a cow slid into it one time, but they float, "it drowned in that?", "no, it isn't that deep and the cow floated like a cork - head up". I asked him how he got the cow out he said, "john boat, rope and a tractor, towed her out no worse for wear", who said the farm wasn't fun?.

Manure tea, disgusting concoction used by my sister-in-law to grow the most freakishly large vegatables I've ever seen - but I won't argue with success. It's easier if I think of it as just some nitrogen and phosphorus - right?, right???! Ok, I'm not that squeamish, but ever since the rash of E.coli outbreaks I'm reminded that I should really use green manure(clover) in the garden - just because e. coli doesn't get me doesn't mean I won't suffer some other health(ahem) setback .... point taken.

I've seen my brother-in-law throw manure at cows out of frustration or fling manure at some of his help, maybe thats why they take off after payday for a week at a time?, but I didn't know he kept some for special occations. Family gatherings after the food and horse shoes, out comes a bag of dried out cow chips, he's only done it once and just for the novelty of it - I think.

Like any good entertainment your not sure at first but once you've tried it, you like it(I mean it's fun) and any inhibitions that might be lingering are completely erased once you've hurled some pasture patties. Of coarse the overriding rational for this activity is, "Your not a real country boy until you've flung some dung"; quote courtesy of farmer John, and he's absolutely right.

Author Resource: Husband and father, one time itinerate merchant and story gatherer, that has settled down to live the simple life and recount some of the experiences that have led me here. Author and Admin. at
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