Make Your First Meeting Sizzle From An Online Dating Match by John Caskey

You've been online checking out the online dating services for weeks or months; you've met a few people you seem to click with, or who at least share your interests, and now want to take it one step further. You're ready to meet someone from an online dating service face to face for a first date. There are some ways you can make that first meeting a success, or exit gracefully if it's not meant to lead to something more.

At the beginning, you may have had some nervousness about meeting a person you only know online. After a few e-mails though, you find that you feel enough of a connection to meet with someone from an online dating site. The best practices are the widely publicized ones. First, use caution and not give out a home phone number to a stranger. Use a cell phone number, or get a pay-as-you-go phone to use just for meeting new people.

Always make your first meeting in a public place. This can be a bookstore, coffee shop, restaurant, beach or park. Especially for women, give someone else you know the details of where and when you are going, and the name of the person you are meeting. You might even let them know you'll call them back afterward to let them know how it went.

Making your first meeting short is the best way to see what you have in common, if there is any chemistry and to get your feet wet. Just an hour, to talk over a coffee, is enough to decide if you want to make another date, or move on. But don't expect an immediate reaction. If you don't feel an initial attraction when you sit down, it's still a good idea to give the person a chance and let the conversation unfold. You never know what can come up as you get to know a person a little better. Many celebrities even say that there wasn't chemistry in their first meeting with a partner, but it grew in time.

While some experts suggest asking questions as a way to let the other person talk, you can also start the ball rolling by opening up about yourself a little. The more you share with the other person, the easier it will be for them to open up to you. You can decide how much of your personal history you want to disclose in your initial conversation. Be careful about spending a lot of time going over your reactions to a past relationship as this can get you into some unresolved emotions and may also be uncomfortable for your date.

Be sure to stop and ask the other about themselves rather than talking most of the time about yourself. This is an art as you don't want to get too personal the first date but you do want to let the other person share their background, interests and personality with you. There are many books on the subject too about how to ask questions that aren't too prying. If you ask a question that is digging too deep, you can usually tell in the person's facial expression or responses so try to be sensitive to their answers. Talking to someone about their parents or family can be an area that is touchy or one of great joy for them. It is necessary to gauge their reactions and emotional level before deciding to ask additional questions to them on this topic.

Good icebreakers can include topics around you, such as types of coffee or tea the person likes, favorite books and magazines that they like to read or outdoors activities they enjoy. There are personal topics too that aren't always hot buttons, like whether the person has a pet. If the individual has children, parents usually enjoy talking about their kids. Another great topic is vacation spots. Find out where the person likes to go to get away from it all.

If the date isn't going very well, it's not impolite to simply thank the person and let them know it was nice to talk, but it's not really going in a direction you want, or you don't feel that your interests are similar enough. Don't make a second date just because you don't know how to say no. And doing something like pretending to go to the bathroom and leaving instead could backfire in a bad way if your date decides to post it online!

Remember to approach this new experience with humor, and be yourself. It's the best way to know if your online dating match is right for you.

Author Resource: John Caskey writes on a wide variety of topics, including online dating etiquette. Find reviews of all the best online dating services at http://www.online-dating-connection.com/firstdate.

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